It's a theme I've noticed in the couples I've counselled that aligns also with my own experience as a husband. TripTogether.com Married life pairs partners who were initially alike, but are worlds different. And one key variance is what they want during conflict. He wants peace. She wants to be heard. Yes, of course, this is a massive generalisation as there are certainly exceptions. There is a reason he wants peace. The relationship needs peace, but not at the expense of the truth. He knows she needs to be loved, and conflict, for him, is an interruption to the love he wants her to feel. If only there is peace there's room to love her - as he wants. But what he wants isn't always the right way. Truth also told, he wants a peaceful life RussianBrides as free as possible from family frustrations. His desire that everyone get on is good, but his way of securing peace is not always the right way. (I concede that she wants peace, too. There is a reason she wants to be heard. Simply, she needs to be heard. And the truth is the relationship needs it. If only he will hear her at this crisis point, he will show her he's as serious about the issue, and the marriage, as she is. At root, it's about love showing itself as respect. If he listens - with genuine intent - he will prove not only respectful, but trustworthy. The bigger truth is both he and she need to be heard. Every marriage prospers VictoriaHearts.com when, as James says, partners are "quick to listen, slow to speak, and slow to anger."
Good relationships find peace through effective conflict resolution. So both he and she want what the relationship needs. Both simply need to value what the other wants.
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Are you looking for signs that say your relationship is healthy? Try these out - following are six attributes that you can base your relationship-health on - there are dozens more, but these run close to the top:
1. FaithfulnessThat state of being exclusive to your partner - not letting go of your end of the agreement you made to each other. Having the self-discipline and self-control to be true to your partner - letting go of your needs and placing their needs before yours. Being there for your mate throughout the relationship from Amolatina.com regardless what circumstance may present itself. 2. ResponsibilityNot finding or placing blame on your partner or others for your actions and the end results of those actions. Making wise decisions that will enhance your relationship. Realizing that your relationship has dating 420 great value and you will do everything in your power to keep it strong. 3. AppreciationShow your partner that his efforts and contributions matter deeply to you. Tell him how much you appreciate him and make time to enjoy a special activity together. Doing something for your partner without having to be asked usually works much better than gift giving. 4. Having PresenceLiving in the NOW, today. Being aware of your partner's mood, how his day is going. Being available in times of stress, joy, or sadness - sharing the burdens he carries and being there dating an alcoholic to help lighten the load. So many little things - taking the kids to grandma's house if it's been a trying week, lighting a fire, and sharing quiet time without interruption. 5. AdmirationRecognize the uniqueness of your partner - his character, the values he lives by and his trustworthiness - everything good that he brings to your relationship. Let him know you will never reject him for any failures or mistakes that may befall him; that your love is strong and true, forever. 6. Sense of HumorHumor is so important - in life, in relationships and love. Life is serious - decisions have to be made, job responsibilities, raising children - this is serious stuff. Humor makes you feel good; being able to laugh and find something funny in serious situations keeps life from being dull and boring. There is nothing better to relieve stress than (sex) and laughing out loud. When you were dating, you put on your best dress, your best behavior, and your prettiest smile - to make your love last forever - keeping doing just that. |